


mint to be

by samcaarter



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Jack is a good plant dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24218371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samcaarter/pseuds/samcaarter
Summary: "What do you even talk about?"Sam fights the audible sigh threatening to overcome her entire being and feigns confusion. "What?"The Colonel shrugs and draws a circle in the air with his finger. "You know, with your plants. What do you talk about?"
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 18
Kudos: 113





	mint to be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serenlyall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenlyall/gifts).



> Written for the Stargate Fanfic Exchange

They're halfway to the gate when Sam figures she's safe. Of course the very next minute, the Colonel opens his mouth. 

"What do you even talk about?" 

Sam fights the audible sigh threatening to overcome her entire being and feigns confusion. "What?" 

The Colonel shrugs and draws a circle in the air with his finger. "You know, with your plants. What do you talk about?" 

Sam wonders if she can claim the urge to pee and run the remaining distance to the gate, although the Colonel would no doubt just say that they're in a forest. That's a bad plan, she needs another. Perhaps she can get away with just ignoring him. 

She does start walking a little faster.

"Carter? Come on," he says, a smile in his voice, but she still refuses to give him a look or an answer. 

Daniel jogs to keep up with her stride and looks at her expectantly. Sam takes a deep breath. She knew she shouldn't have mentioned it. "Nothing."

"It can't be nothing. You said you talk to your plants, so you have to, you know, actually say something," Daniel points out and Sam makes a mental note to mess up his notes. He deserves it. 

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does," the Colonel says from her other side. "You can't just say something like this and then expect us to let it go."

"I didn't want to say anything, _sir_ , you pressed the issue," she reminds him, but knows it won't derail him. 

"And I'm pressing it further. Do you discuss politics with your plants?"

"Or maybe scientific discoveries?" Daniel adds.

"If you keep teasing me, then I won't tell you." Sometimes Sam thinks she's on a team with only one other adult.

"I think it is not our concern," Teal'c says from behind, as if proving her thoughts. He's her best friend now. 

"Thank you, Teal'c."

"Aw, T, aren't you interested?" the Colonel says. He almost grins at her when she shoots him a glare. "You can't tell your plants anything about the gate, Carter, remember that? They haven't signed the NDA." 

Sam sighs, shooting her commanding officer will probably not look very good on her record, but sometimes he makes her think it might just be worth it. Maybe if she wounds him just a little. 

"Come on, Sam. You can't leave us hanging, not now," Daniel says, doing his best _annoying little brother_ impression. Sam would know, she actually has a little brother. It's eerily familiar. 

Now there's another thought, shooting the archaeologist shouldn't be so bad, should it?

"Perhaps it will be wise to not inquire further, Daniel Jackson."

Sam turns to give Teal'c a grateful smile. "And just for that, I might tell you what they so desperately want to know."

The Colonel elbows her lightly. "I can order you to talk, Captain," he says, but there's no edge in his voice. 

"I don't think you can order me to tell you what I do or don't do in my own house, Colonel."

He stumbles and Daniel snorts. Serves him right, even if she didn't mean anything by that.

The Colonel recovers quickly. "Well, Teal'c will tell me if you tell him, right, Teal'c?" 

"I would not betray Captain Carter's trust."

Daniel snorts again and even Sam can't hold back a smile. The look of dismay on the Colonel's face is priceless. 

"What? Do you think you're actually in charge of anyone here?" Daniel says grinning. 

The Colonel glares. "Yes."

"Good for you, Jack."

Sam laughs, which immediately earns her a dirty look from the Colonel and she schools her features. Though not because she's afraid of getting reprimanded. As annoying as their teasing can be, she likes these moments. She likes them even better when Daniel is the one getting teased.

"Are you going to tell your plants about what happened today, Captain Carter?" Teal'c says, unhelpfully returning the conversation back to its original topic.

"Maybe." Sam smiles. "And don't worry, sir, my plants know how to keep a secret."

"How do you know they're not talking behind your back?" He leans closer and lowers his voice. "Selling your secrets for fertilizer?"

For just a moment her smile slips. She does tell her plants her secrets. She’d told them that she liked her commanding officer, as a little more than just a person and a fellow officer. Looking away, she reminds herself that he doesn't know. That it doesn't matter. That they're teammates and friends. And that this silly crush is going to go away.

"I trust them, sir. I picked them very carefully," she says, keeping her voice level. 

Daniel bumps her shoulder with his. "Like your friends?" he says with a smile.

Grateful for a way out, she shoves him away, smiling again. "Well, I didn't pick you. I had no choice in the matter, but you grew on me, eventually."

Daniel doesn't look put out. "Like a weed, right?"

Sam laughs. "Oh, God."

Turning her head, she meets the Colonel's eyes. He's grinning, he doesn't do it often enough, and she feels something inside her flutter in response.

"Actually, I only picked Teal'c. Both of you were ordered on me," he says, feigning annoyance. 

"I have picked all of you to be my friends," Teal'c says solemnly from behind. "I have yet to regret my choice."

Pressing her hand to her chest, Sam _awws_. It's really nice to hear something like this from Teal'c. He doesn't usually say sentimental things.

"Why, T, we love you too." 

"We wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you. But"- Daniel turns to look at her again-"you still haven't told us what you talk to your plants about."

Sam gives him a look that makes civilian scientists, young lieutenants, and, on occasion, even her superiors flinch, but Daniel's fear meter is either broken or doesn't exist at all. He simply raises both eyebrows in response, waiting.

Fortunately the Colonel has something resembling common sense. "Alright, alright. Fun's over, Daniel."

Sam gives him a small smile. He started it, but it's nice to know he knows not to push her. 

"But-"

"I said, leaf her alone," the Colonel says, pressing his lips together, as if trying not to smile.

It takes Sam a second to register what he said and she groans. "I hate you both," she says over her shoulder, storming away.

Daniel's laughter follows her.

"We love you, too, Captain."

* * *

He loves it, that she comes home to him.

Technically, he supposes, it makes him a househusband. And sure he still has a nine to five ish, but she comes home to _him_ and it's really the best thing in the universe. 

Officially, they're living in different states. Unofficially, she uses the personal beaming device, _thank_ you, Thor, to get to DC almost every night she's on Earth.

And since she's not spending as much time at her house in Colorado, it makes him not only the househusband, but the official caretaker of Carter's plants. 

Why she trusted him with her babies, he's not quite sure, but as it turned out, he has quite a green thumb. Or maybe her plants are just as stubborn as their human mother.

Huh, does it make him a dad? He doesn't remember signing the adoption papers. Maybe it works differently in a plant world. 

He's currently standing in their bedroom, doing the rounds. The window is facing south, so the little windowsill belongs to potted plants. With a little watering can in his hand, he feels like a proper gardener.

"Hello, children," Jack says quietly. It doesn't seem to be getting any less weird, but Carter insists that talking to plants is a good idea. Helps them grow, yada yada. He's just a little uncomfortable talking to something that can't reply. Or hear. Can plants hear? 

So far though, Carter hasn't heard him talking to the plants, and he's beginning to understand why she was so reluctant to share this with them years ago.

"It's a lovely day today, isn't it?" he asks the first succulent as he waters it. At least tiny human babies blabber when spoken to, it’s very encouraging. 

Pausing, as if listening to the plant's response, he shrugs. "Tell me about it. First time in weeks it's sunny outside, and Carter's stuck inside the mountain. I was thinking about hiking, but that plan is down the drain."

Moving to the second plant, a croton that's called Molly, he carefully brushes his fingers along its leaves, as he's seen Carter do it. "And how are you today, miss? Missing mom? I miss her too. It's been three weeks of just me and you, all of you." He looks at the plants on both sides of the croton. "Hope these gents are treating you nicely. You can always tell me if they need a talking to, okay?" 

The plant remains stubbornly silent, but Jack grins. Maybe this is a special kind of going crazy. It's not like he doesn't get to talk to people, in that regard he’s anything but lonely, but he hasn't talked to one specific person in a long while, a couple of phone calls don’t really count. So maybe he's just going Carter crazy. 

Turning to the next plant on the windowsill, he nods at it. It's a fairly large aloe plant called Faraday, though to Jack it's always looked more like a Bob.

"Hello," he greets it, however weird this might still feel, there's no need to be impolite. He's come to appreciate Faraday's healing properties over the years. "Enjoying the sun?" 

Silence. Not that an actual response would make Jack feel better. 

Tilting the watering can he watches the water being absorbed into the soil. "Bon appetit," he says with a sway of his other hand. "Hope it tastes okay. Not that you'd tell me either way. Huh," he pauses, thinking. "It must be nice to eat sunlight and water. Not that I'd ever want to give up the taste of nicely fried chicken with some garnish and the side of potatoes and-" 

The familiar noise and white light from behind him interrupt his food musings and he turns, a smile appearing on his face just as Carter materializes in the space between the bed and the window. 

Her face betrays her surprise for a second, clearly she didn't expect him to be in the room, then an equally bright smile forms on her otherwise tired looking face. "Hi," she says cheerfully and plops down onto the bed behind her. 

"You're early," he says, watching her carefully, in case this isn't simple exhaustion caused by her inability to take a break every now and then.

She groans, putting both hands over her face and rubbing it. "I'm not allowed into the SGC until Monday," she mumbles. 

He grins. Today is a rare Friday afternoon when he's home, which means they'll have two more days together, and that automatically makes him the luckiest guy in the universe. "Nice."

Propping herself up on her elbows, she looks at him, finally noticing the watering can he's still holding in his hand. "Do you talk to them?" she asks.

"Uh, no," he says, but apparently his face says something different because she smiles at him, a thousand watt smile.

"You do talk to them." Sitting up and folding one leg beneath her, she looks at him all eager and expectant. He feels his defense crumble. "What do you talk about?"

"Nothing," he tries.

Carter's smile turns wicked and he swallows. Uh-oh. He's doomed.

Gracefully rising to her feet, she then moves towards him. "It's not nothing." Only stopping when they're all but pressed together, she looks up at him, an evil gleam in her blue blue eyes. "Come on, you can trust me."

"Some things are private, Carter," he gets out, surprised when his voice doesn't sound as breathless as he feels. This woman and the effect she has on him.

Clearly aware of it, she snakes her hands under his shirt, as he tries to stay still. "They're my plants. I have a right to know what you're telling them behind my back," she whispers into his neck. Her smiling face just inches away and he finds it hard to think.

Gripping the watering can harder, he can't drop it, there's some water still in the damn thing, he lifts his head to avoid looking at her. "Why don't you ask them then?" 

Slipping under the waistband of his sweatpants, her hands slide lower to squeeze his ass cheeks and he almost yelps.

"I believe I'm under duress, Carter, you can't expect me to talk _now_ ," he says, wondering for just a second if it'd be worth it if he just watered her. Probably not, unless he wants to sleep in the guest room, which he doesn’t. Maybe he should just douse himself, that sounds like a marginally better idea.

"Can I offer you something in exchange for the information I want?" She gently pulls him closer, until his stirring erection presses to her belly and he looks at her again.

"It's a state secret, Carter. I doubt there's anything you can offer me that would tempt me to give it up." That’s so clearly a lie.

She bites her lip, considering his words. "I can torture it out of you," she says, lifting her head, her lips so invitingly near.

He has to remind himself what it is they're talking about. "Uh."

"I could tie you to the bed," she whispers, moving her hand from its place on his ass, and slowly running her fingers up his chest. "And tease you until you were right on the edge, begging me to push you over. You'd tell me everything I want to know just so I would touch you"-her lips brush the tip of his chin-"just the way you like."

Cupping the back of her neck with his free hand, he kisses her with hunger and desperation. Pours the last several weeks’ worth of longing into the kiss, until he feels her melt into him. Momentarily satisfied, he pulls back a little. “That sounds like a plan.”

Sam smiles against his lips, hands gripping his t-shirt. “Buy me dinner first.”

Pressing a soft and lingering kiss to her lips, he slides his hand down her arm until he can intertwine their fingers. “Come on then. Let’s have you fed and rested,” he says, leading her to the door. “Because if you want that info, I’m afraid it’s the only way you’re gonna get it.”

A giant smile spreads her lips and she bumps her shoulder into his. “The only way, huh? Hope you have nothing planned for tomorrow.”

He grins, nothing that isn’t about her.

Life is good.


End file.
